Being single, I often feel like I need to be able to give a clear, concise explanation of what I want and what I’m looking for. Finding a way to successfully relay this can feel like being called on in class to give a response when you weren’t quite paying attention to the question. My most recent answer has been that I am not looking for anything in particular and have no real expectations when I meet a guy or begin to date them because when you’re too focused on finding a relationship you’re bound to settle instead of finding someone who’s right for you. For the most part, I think that this is a pretty honest answer but there are times that I waiver. I sometimes find myself in a bit of an inner conflict when the self proclaimed ‘looking for more than sex’ girl finds herself thinking that just sex with someone wouldn’t be so bad.

One Night Stands: everyone has had them. Some people love them and find them liberating and fun, others find them unsatisfying and degrading and some people just plain won’t share the details. Me? I have a history of having terrible one night stands. In fact, I seem to have a pattern of more often than not, having incomplete one night stands. There was the guy who changed his mind while in bed with me (I’d go into more detail but that is a post all in it’s own), one who was too drunk, and one who probably smokes too much weed (I may be giving too much personal info about myself away but oh well). What can I say, sometimes I just can’t seem to seal the deal.

Most recently, I had gotten a message from a guy on the online dating site I use. He seemed cute and funny. I found him to be extremely charming. He even sent me a photo of himself with a bit of a scruffy beard and asked if I was okay with it or preferred him clean shaven. When I told him, rather off the cuff, that I didn’t have a preference because I hadn’t seen him without one, he went and immediately shaved in order to show me my options. He was the most promising dating prospect I had had in awhile. As we continued to talk, a few sexual innuendos here and there turned into him alluding to sex quite a bit. I realized that there was only one thing he was looking to get out of this.

I probably should have decided that this was the time to jump ship but I was having fun talking and flirting with him. I started thinking that having something less than serious wouldn’t be such a bad thing. I also was kind of patting myself on the back for identifying the type of guy he is vs. being caught off guard and ending up disappointed when things didn’t end up the way I thought that they would. I figured that maybe, even if this was more or less all about sex, we might enjoy each other’s company and have a good time. It seems that I had also forgotten how notorious I am for having disastrous one night stands.

Now, one thing that I tend to do, which you probably all think is for privacy sake in my blogs but is actually just something I do when talking to friends about a guy I’m interested in is give them a nickname (probably a defense mechanism on my part but we’ll skip psycho analyzing me for now). Due to a risque photo he sent me (for the record I do not send naked photos of myself!), I referred to this particular man as Dick Pic. Dick Pic and I beat around the bush for awhile (wow, I really wrote that huh?) and finally I was ready to invite him back to my place.

The night was not anywhere near as fun as I thought it would be. The chemistry felt a bit forced, I wasn’t enjoying myself as much as I had hoped and just as things were getting going, he got a little too excited. That’s right, like I said Dick Pic turned into Too Quick Dick. . . So there I am, laying in bed with pretty much a stranger while he tells me that he thinks he must’ve been nervous and that’s why he had a “short fuse tonight” but he wants a rain check because he will do much better next time. Now I have never had that happen to me before but we all know that there are ways to turn the evening around. Nope, DP gets up, says goodbye and off he goes. Well, there’s another partial one night stand for the books.

Sometimes I think that it that serves me right. I walk around thinking, most of the time, that I would like more of a connection than just physical so when I do cave and try to have that purely physical connection it just doesn’t go like I plan. But then again, life never goes as planned so why should this be any different. I can’t say that I’ll never try to have a one night stand or a relationship that’s based solely on sex again but it definitely isn’t my main focus. Maybe someday I’ll have a great, mind blowing night with a stranger. Then again maybe I won’t. I do know that I will keep having fun, interesting and funny experiences while I keep on going on these adventures in dating. I already told you I plan on kissing my share of frogs along the way.