I once mentioned that I have a few rules for myself when it comes to online dating (if you don’t remember, check out #letstalkaboutonlinedatesbaby). One of those rules is to not immediately agree to go out with someone, I prefer to talk with them a bit and get to know them first. The other is to use week nights as first date nights and leave the weekends for times when I’m guaranteed to have fun. Both of these rules were established in part because of a date I went on with The No Tipper.

I had been off of the dating website that I use for a few months. I had taken my profile down because I was dating someone and we had agreed that we didn’t want to see other people so I had inactivated my account. When things didn’t work out between us, I was heading into the summer and knew that I would be far too busy between work and spending my time with friends to date (or at least date anyone online) so I kept my profile down. As the summer was winding down I decided that there wouldn’t be any harm in putting it back up – I could take a peek at what was out there and see whether or not I wanted to pursue anything with anyone on there.

As soon as I was back on the site, I got a message from a guy in my area who seemed cute and fun. Chatting with him was easy and entertaining so when he asked me to get a drink with him on a Friday night, I was very tempted to but had to turn him down because I already had plans. He asked if there was anyway we could get together the next day instead. Now usually as you know, I like to wait before meeting someone but I think I was feeling a bit of the rush that online dating can provide and I thought ‘why not’. We made tentative plans for the next day and I went out with a friend that night with a little extra self-confident air about me.

The next day he told me that he had to work but would be in touch later on so we could figure things out. One thing I’m not a fan of — I’m a planner — I don’t need my whole life mapped out or need to pull up a spreadsheet of my weekend scheduled down to the last nanosecond and I definitely love spontaneous moments and surprises but when it comes to a first date, as casual as it may be, I want a time set so I’m able to have a handle on my day. I spent part of the day at the beach with the same friend that I had gone out with the night before. She was wanting to grab drinks afterwards but I wasn’t sure if I was able to as I didn’t know what my plans were with my Yet To Be Nicknamed Saturday night date. Late that afternoon he got in touch with me asking if we could meet around 9pm for drinks and told me to pick the place. Not a fan of picking the place – might make me picky (get it I’m picky but not the picker) but I also think if you ask someone out, you are responsible for the where and the what. I don’t like to be asked out then told I’m responsible for planning the date, if I had wanted to do that I would’ve planned something and invited you to it. So I thought about it and decided that he seemed to want to go somewhere on my side of town so I would pick a place that I knew was sure to be a good time but definitely not my local bar (I decided that it had to be close enough to me to make getting there no big deal but couldn’t be somewhere I go all the time because if I wasn’t interested, I didn’t want to introduce him to a place where I might run into him every weekend).

Since we weren’t meeting until 9pm, I decided that I had time to grab a drink with my friend first. So we went to the local bar that I was not bringing him to and had a drink, I still had time to kill so we ended up having two. BIG MISTAKE. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t hammered and didn’t make a fool out of myself but I did find that I had to make an effort to drink my drinks extra slow once I was on my date. Pre-date drinking is not something I will do again. I know a lot of people who have a two drink maximum rule while out on dates and I have to say it’s not a bad idea. That being said, my drinks did seem to make me warm up to my date. He wasn’t as cute as his pictures had been but definitely wasn’t bad looking. I don’t know how well we would’ve gotten along if it hadn’t been for my pre-date pick me ups but I was having a nice time talking with him and probably would have gone out with him a second time if things had played out differently at the end of the night.

We had been chatting at the bar and having a good time until my yet to be nicknamed pal got up to go to the bathroom and when he stood up, he squeezed my thigh. Now, I’m not a prude and I wasn’t offended but it did seem a little forward and I wasn’t looking for anymore leg rubbing that evening so I made sure to move my stool a little further away before he got back. We talked for a while longer and I went to use the bathroom and when I came back, he was signing his credit card receipt. Which was fine, except he hadn’t given me any indication that the date was over until then. He told me that it was his best friend’s birthday and that he had to leave to put in an appearance there so he was going to have to run and he told me not to worry, he took care of the tab. I didn’t mean to but I looked down at the receipt and saw a line thru the tip section. He told me he had had a good time and wanted to do it again soon, then he took off.

I have worked at far too many restaurants to walk out without tipping. Even if I hadn’t, it still wouldn’t be anything I would ever be okay with doing. I didn’t have any cash on me so I had to explain to the bartender that I had been on a blind date, apparently with someone who doesn’t believe in letting the other person know that you’re going to need to get going and also doesn’t believe in tipping (hence the nickname). I asked her to run my debit card for a dollar so that I could leave a tip, commiserated with her a bit on how awful first dates can be and made my way back to my local bar to have a drink and share my story with friends.

A little bit later on, right around midnight, I got a text from No Tipper asking me if I wanted to meet up at his place. I declined, I was not looking for a late night rendezvous. I couldn’t help but feel like the whole thing just seemed weird. The next day I was telling a friend about my night and as we were talking it over, I realized that No Tipper was trying to play headgames with me but just wasn’t as good at them as he thought he was. When I didn’t respond to the thigh rub he had tried at the bar, he decided to leave abruptly so that I would wonder what had gone wrong and if I had done something – since there was no way he would’ve left that quickly unless he wasn’t interested. So when he texted me afterwards, I would jump at the chance to see him again and head right over to his house (in the middle of the night . . . ).

Sorry No Tipper, wrong girl. Better luck next time. So my Saturday nights are still reserved for people that I know I will enjoy myself with and my get to know them more philosophy still seems like the way to go. No Tipper got in touch with me a few more times to see if I wanted to get together but I prefer guys who pay gratuity and don’t short change their bartenders . . . or their dates.